Fireworks

In all of the discussions about 4th of July plans this last week I made a comment to one of my coworkers about how jaded we as adults tend to become to the spectacle of fireworks. Yes we will watch them year after year, "ooooo" and "ahhhhh" as we pick out our favorite variety
(mine being the "willow tree sparkler" as I like to call it), and go away saying "wasn't that a great show!" But for many of us I think that the wonder and awe is all but gone. Its the "you've seen one, you've seen 'em all" adage. I mean admit it - you've figured out how to anticipate the loud boom based on when you see the trail of light going up in the air. You've been spoiled by Disney's perfectly on tempo shows that any firework off the beat of the music is more a nuisance than a display of beauty. And of course knowing that the most impressive part of the fireworks show is always the grand finale - shooting off fireworks one by one is really just a clever way to be able to advertise the longest show in town right?

Sounds a little cynical I know but I'll admit that thoughts like this do creep into my mind on occasion. That is why I strongly believe that to fully enjoy the spectacle of fireworks you need to be in the company of a child . . . well at least that is in the company of someone who still thinks like a child. A person like Jamin for instance.


During my visit to Germany last year Parker and I had the great fortune to be alongside Jamin for two firework displays. Both were held in amazing settings - one over a castle in the mountains, the other over a castle along the river. Both shows were very well done and the scenery only added to the joy of the moment but I can remember thinking to myself "they were good but they weren't much different from American fireworks shows." Ha, ha . . . the thought makes me cringe now - I don't know what I was expecting. Jamin on the other hand, who by the way had seen fireworks shows in these very same locations the year prior and should have been more disillusioned than I, could not wait for them to begin. I dinstinctly remember standing beside him at the second of the two and laughing as with the explosion of each firework Jamin would jerk his head backwards as he uttered the word "Woah!" as if he had never seen anything like it before. The joy of the situation, though, was that the excitement was completely spontaneous. It was almost as if he couldn't help his reactions even if he tried, though I knew better based on an understanding of his both his superior maturity and self-control levels. His facination was completely authentic and personal. I honestly believe that even if Parker or I, or the thousands of other people were not on the bridge that night Jamin still would have taken it in with as much enthusiasm. That was his gift - continually finding joy in the small things - things that most adults gave up on years ago. The special thing about Jamin though is that when you were around him he shared that gift with you.

Later that evening a couple of his friends joined us for the remainder of the festival we were attending. Always the gentleman the first order of business was introductions but immediately following were these words "Oh man, you guys missed the best fireworks show EVER! I mean this thing seriously must have lasted like 30 minutes!" I have to laugh now as I think how Jamin was more disappointed for them that they missed out than they were themselves.

I don't know if that was his last fireworks show - it very possibly could have been I suppose. The good news is that it was the "best EVER!" though I have no doubt any subsequent shows would have been in close race for this title with Jamin's childlike wonder ever-present.

Heaven was needing a hero

This is a song that I discovered shortly after Jamin's death by country singer/songwriter Jo Dee Messina. Although the song was originally written for a soldier that died in battle I can't help but conjure up images of Jamin each time I listen to it. Even though I know Jamin as someone truly unique and special I think the true value of this song is in realizing that it applies to so many others in our military. They truly are the best of the best. To think that some day we will be in the presence of so many sacrificial "heros" (including the ultimate hero - Jesus Christ) brings such a smile to my face. Oh what a day of rejoicing that will be! (But for now I will warn you that you may want to grab a tissue).

*The words are posted beneath the video if you have difficulty understanding them.

I came by today to see you
I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you and never let go

It's kept me awake nights, wondering
Lie in the dark, just asking why
I've always been told
You won't be called home
Until it's your time

I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

I remember the last time I saw you
You held your head up proud
I laughed inside
When I saw how you were standing out in the crowd
You're such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more

Cause heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

Heaven was needing a hero
and that's you

Thank you J.B. for your service to our country and oh, so much more. We love you!

A Permanent Memorial

Colonel Kevin Bennett, J.B.'s commanding officer at Spangdahlem Air Force Base, recently wrote to tell us that a permanent memorial for Jamin had been set in place at the sight of his accident. Thanks to the efforts of the wonderful Air Force family, Jamin will always be remembered for his certain smile and his contributions to the base. The words "The Best Ever" were chosen because they were some of Jamin's favorite words. He used them often, and we all thought they were a perfect way to both remember and to describe him.
Special thanks to Colonel Bennett for leading this effort, to Hannah Harris for choosing the monument, and for all those who contributed time and finances to remember Jamin in this way. He would have been humbled and amazed! I know we are. -BW

In His Own Words - Life's Little Instructions For Relationships

One of the most incredible character traits that Jamin possessed was that of self-improvement. He was continually looking for ways to be a better person than the already much loved person that he was.

I have always been amazed (and, yes, a little jealous) by the relationships that Jamin formed throughout his life with family, friends, girlfriends, and even simple acquaintances. He seemed to know and be known by some truly incredible people, seemingly without much effort on his part. However, I recently have come to realize that it wasn't out of coincidence. Jamin actively pursued relationships with people that he knew would challenge him - both by what they could teach him and by what he could teach them (which he saw as an equally important and often more rewarding challenge). It seemed that nice, intellectual, funny, wise, encouraging people flocked to him exponentially as the years went by. With each new year Jamin became a more likeable person - the kind of person that everyone enjoys being around (including myself). It was, however, only due to a great deal of risk, failure and determination on his part that a better understanding of relationships developed and was put into practice.

Case and point: Below is a list that we found in a notebook from his apartment written in his own handwriting and entitled "Life's Little Instructions For Relationships." Although I am sure that he picked up many of these ideas from other sources the fact that he remembered their advice well enough to include it as part of his own speaks enough for itself. I think that even if we all take only one or two of these to heart we will all be better people than we are today:

[Jamin's] Life's Little Instructions For Relationships

1. Marry only for love.
2. Keep several irons in the fire.
3. Be alert for opportunities to show praise and appreciation.
4. Don't make the same mistake twice.
5. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
6. Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.
7. Don't insist on running someone else's life.
8. Don't rain on other people's parades.
9. Don't miss the magic of the moment by focusing on what's to come.
10. Look for opportunities to make people feel important.
11. Send your loved one flowers. Think of a reason later.
12. Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."
13. Don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry."
14. Never compromise your integrity.
15. Never underestimate the power of a kind word or deed.
16. Don't allow self-pity. The moment this emotion strikes, do something nice for someone less fortunate than you.
17. Be enthusiastic about the success of others.
18. When you and your wife have a disagreement, regardless of who's wrong, apologize. Say, "I'm sorry I upset you. Would you forgive me?" These are healing, magical words.
19. Stay out of night clubs.
20. Never give a love one a gift that suggests they need improvement.
21. Compliment even small improvements.
22. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
23. Save an evening a week for just you and your wife.
24. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
25. Every day look for some small way to improve your marriage.
26. Be there when people need you.
27. To explain a romantic break-up, simply say, "it was all my fault."
28. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
29. Never walk out on a quarrel with your wife.
30. Instead of using the words, "if only," try substituting the words, "next time."
31. Instead of using the word "problem," try substituting the word "opportunity."
32. Ever so often push your luck.
33. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
34. Learn to disagree without being disagreeable.
35. Hear both sides before judging.
36. Refrain from envy. It's the source of much unhappiness.
37. Never underestimate the power of love.
38. Never underestimate the power of forgiveness.
39. Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) Finding the right person and (2) Being the right person.
40. See problems as opportunities for growth and self-mastery
41. Accept pain and disappointment as part of life.
42. Practice empathy. Try to see things from other people's points of view.
43. Get and stay in shape.
44. Never underestimate your power to change yourself.
45. never overestimate your power to change others.
46. Not matter how dire the situation, keep your cool.
47. When facing a difficult task, act as though it is impossible to fail. if you're going after Moby Dick, take along tartar sauce.
48. Don't whine.
49. Every day show your family how much you love them with your words, with your touch, and with your thoughtfulness.
50. Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don't feel like it.
51. Learn to show enthusiasm, even when you don't feel like it.
52. Take good care of those you love.
53. Never cut what can be untied.
54. Be willing to lose a battle in order to win the war.
55. See out the good in people.
56. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
57. Have impeccable manners.
58. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
59. Never tell anyone they loo tired or depressed.
60. Swing for the fence.
61. Don't be called out on strikes. Go down swinging.
62. Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
63. Be romantic.
64. never take action when you're angry.
65. Be your wife's best friend.
66. Be kinder than necessary.
67. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery.
68. Slow dance.
69. In business and in family relationships, remember that the most important thing is trust.
70. Never forget your anniversary.
71. Admit your mistakes.
72. make the best of bad situations.
73. Surprise loved ones with little unexpected gifts.
74. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
75. never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.
76. Make new friends but cherish the old ones.
77. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
78. Look people in the eye.
79. Say "thank you" a lot.
80. Say "please" a lot.
81. Learn to play a musical instrument.
82. Watch a sunrise a least once a year.
83. Remember other people's birthdays.